Wow. It's been awhile since I've blogged on to update AandA. My friend Karen sent me a very succinct set of clips featuring psychologist, Dan Siegel, discussing parenting styles and resultant attachment styles. These provide just a taste of what the attachment style concepts are about, but I think we can recognize ourselves in these descriptions, both as a child and as a parent. Self awareness is the key to growing into the parents we want to be.
I am here to say that it is never too late to become the parent you aspire to be. As a child and later as a teen, my attachment with my own dad was definitely that of an avoidant style. I never felt that my dad saw me or knew me or even really cared to know me. These were my childish and adolescent assumptions, but they stemmed from my father's all-consuming preoccupation with his own career and stature in the community. He craved external affirmation and as a result, he wasn't mentally present to acknowledge and affirm his own children.
Today, I have a wonderful relationship with my father. To my surprise it turned out that he is interested in knowing me. However, he didn't arrive at this parenting style until his career was over and he realized that he wanted something different than what he had pursued for most of his life. The surprise is that it's not too late. His change of parenting style has helped me immensely and I'm grateful now (at ages 81 and 56, respectively) to have a father - daughter relationship I never would have thought possible.
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